At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
