I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
handjob tips. give me some.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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