You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize