farters have to be the big spoon...
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
