i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize