yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
