what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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