What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
