It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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