Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
