This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
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