probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize