Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
