hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
