Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
