so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
