i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Congratulations! We have a period
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
