When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
