so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
