dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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