so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
