Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
