apparently the secret to your success is patron
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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