You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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