we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
