Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
sex in a hospital.. check
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
