Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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