You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
