the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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