I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
