so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You're a waste of cheezeits
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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