I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
