my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
