hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
