YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
