honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Randomize
