I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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