I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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