how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
