in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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