When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
