We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
