no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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