He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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