i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
