Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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