There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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