Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
