Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize
