I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
