I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
