i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
