yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
