My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
