we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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