Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize