absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
